What's it all about?
Steven Spielberg's Cretaceous creation begins with the crew of John Hammond's dino-tastic theme park, Jurassic Park, moving some angry raptors into their enclosure. Some wacky stuff goes down and, unfortunately, one of the crew gets unceremoniously torn to pieces. Sorry, bro. Hop over to palaeontologist Alan Grant and palaeobiologist Ellie Sattler digging up some bits of Velociraptor. Some kid gets sassy with Grant and he explains how these things were vicious pack hunters who straight up ate stuff. Shortly after, Grant expresses to Sattler that his cold soul hates children. Meanwhile, Hammond stops in to ask the two if they want to come check out his Six Flags Great Pangaea thingy. They (eventually) agree and ride in on a choppa. Important: Grant got two of the same part of the seatbelt, the "girl" part. But he finds a way to secure himself in by tying them in a knot. At the park, they meet some dinos and learn that they were cloned using blood sucked up by ancient mosquitoes that got fossilised. They start a tour of the park where we meet Hammond's grandkids. Meanwhile, one of the people working at the park, Dennis, shuts down everything so he can steal some dino embryos and sell 'em to competitors. Don't worry, he gets eaten. Tropical storm rolls in. Tour gets stuck in front of the T-rex habitat. Now, imagine being stuck in front of a lion cage at the zoo when the fence breaks and, oh by the way, you happen to be a giant corn dog. T-rex leaves her cage and eats the lawyer checking the park and runs off, after separating Grant and Hammond's grandkids from the rest of the group. They find their way into a tree and sleep there. Morning comes, they find a fence and get climbing. Grant pulls a wonderful dad joke and pretends to be electrocuted by the fence. 'Lectric fences are still offline. Ellie turns em on. Hammond's grandson becomes toast-boy. Everyone happily returns to the welcome centre. Enter velociraptors. Raptors chase kids into the kitchen. Kids fend them off, and make their way to the Control Room where the other raptor learned to open doors. Hammond's granddaughter puts back the security systems and they are safe, temporarily. As they attempt to leave the welcome centre, raptors are about to shred the group when Mrs. Tyrannosaurus hops in and eats the velociraptors and makes a victory roar, as the "When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth" poster falls, creating a super cool image of Triassic Triumph. Everyone leaves and is happy. The end.
How was the plot?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS MOVIE Okay so for numerous reasons I strongly believe this is the greatest movie of all time. I really love this movie. It's got that perfect mix of good acting, a wonderful story, and, what's that last thing? Oh yeah. Freaking dinosaurs. This movie is why I am unhappy about how not-velociraptor-proof my living room is. I'm gonna wear my Jurassic Park shirt tomorrow. I love this movie.
Soundtrack?
That main theme, that C-F-C-G-G-A-Bb-Bb-A-F-G, is absolutely excellent. The rest of the soundtrack is really not too interesting. But still very good. What a great movie.
Final Review?
One hundred fifty freakin percent. Oh, Lord. A++++++++++++++. Yowza.
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